Reboots and re-imaginings and the wonderful web they weave. One prime example of this being obviously the new Spiderman 4, which promisies to be grittier, more contempory(whatever the hell that means)and darker.
Reboots can be a good thing, so for all those spidey fans claiming this as some sort of movie business version of jesus christs crucifiction, take heart.
The thing with movies is, once they're shot and distributed, there's nothing you can do about it. Anything you may have wanted to see in it, it's too late now.
So on the subject of things we'd like to see in films, in these-"What I would have done is..."-segments is I'm going to talk about films that I would like to have changed somewhat and the stupid most annoying parts. For the first one I'll start off small.
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END.
I don't even know where to start with this one, so I'll just do my most annoying two:
1. Tia Dalma is Calyspso.
They deliver this twist with about as much subtlety as KKK member at the Million Man March so that by her end scene you not only know about her past relationship with Davy Joens, you also couldn't give two f***s.
I'd have prefered if they'd kept the devil-may-care attitude she had in the previous film. In this one she has all the makings of a serially depressed ex-girlfriend of a maniacal pirate.
Also, despite being all-knowing, all-mysterious in the Dead Man's Chest, she seems to be out of her depth(excuse the pun) and out of her gourd in this feature.
They even gave her the magical abitiliy to grow big, shout gibberish at people and explode, this being one of her "highlights"
What I would have done:I would not have made her Calypso but kept up with the freaky Vooddoo lady thing she had goin on. The Calyspo revelation was not needed and over-used in the film. If it had been a shocking sudden revelation as opposed to a gradual, ball-breakingly slow reference, then I would have been okay with that.
I would also have made her Jack's love interest and definitely not Davy Jones and kept his love as some faceless damsel who broke his heart. I feel this would have made it more poignant; that he couldn't reconcile and thus make him a kind of anti-hero of a certain extreme.
Cutler Beckett should have been the main bad-guy and they tended to make the love-lorn Davy-Jones out to be some kind of monster because he literally tore his own heart out and went on a jilted-lover killing spree.We all have our issues, it doesn't mean we're bad people. Maybe a redemptive moment for Davy Jones as opposed to getting killed by Will(inadvertantly though not for lack of trying)should have been done.
2.James Norrington Dies.
A man out to reclaim his honour.Unrequited love.Complex character developement. These are the things not asscociated with any of the so-called "leads".
James Norrington was an upcoming British navy Captain before he met jack sparrow. After letting free this (career making) pirate and also giving up his love to Will in the first movie's end scene("How To Self-Sacrifice,Chapter one")he was to be cemneted in my mind as one of the most underrated characters in movie history.
The one where you feel he could carry a film all on his lonesome.
He then chases after said freed pirate, even sailing through a hurricane (thouroughly bad-ass) and resigned his comission in shame when he couldn't catch him. He ends up a drink-sodden mess and this is where we're introduced to him again as he becomes part of Sparrow's crew and what he'd always spent his life hunting: a pirate.
Out to reclaim his honour as I've said above, he then makes a deal with the devil and regains his comission. That is until the Devil,Cutler Beckett, gives him his old sword back.
This has the undesired effect of reminding Norrington of how honourable he once was and his connection to Will(who forged the sword)Elizabeth(his love) and by extension Jack(the enemy and erstwhile hope for redemtion).
He then turns to the side of good once more and after saving Elizabeth (again)he gets the shank by Will's dad of all people and refusus Davy Jones' offer of immortality to die with honour intact.
To be honest, I think in the end he essentially dies a broken man and his death is utterly swept under the rug and not mentioned again by any chracter for the rest of the film.
The only good thing about his death is that he didn't have to take part in this travesty of potential anymore and got a heroes send-off if not a heroes return.
What I would have done: Given him his own series goddammit!
